There are many issues (and some imporpant people too) that are very close to my heart. Education is one of it. Below is something I wrote when I was asked about Education in Singapore, and how it breaks some families apart.

---------------------------
Education’s Culture

In the highly competitive society, Singapore’s education system is one that is competitive, demanding and seeks to develop a child holistically, putting one under severe pressure to perform his/her many roles. Often, a student feels a need to conform to how the system judges good or bad, by excelling academically, and where he/she is placed in a Co-Curriculum Activity (CCA), thus the student does not really see his or her talents.

Competitive as society is, schools are further labeled and given rankings based on the performance of students’ academic achievement, CCAs and how much better the students are after going through an education with them. Value-added’ness is the ‘in’ thing of today. And schools strive to the top.

With good results, and strong, proactive achievements in Co-Curriculum Activities, scholarships and opportunities are offered. Therefore, education, to many parents, is the only hope to see their children successful in life.

Creating an all-rounded child has become the top priority for parents today. Children must be able to do many different things, i.e. literacy (read and write), play a musical instrument, dance, drama (performing arts), and play a sport. This way, a child would stand a better chance to enroll into the top school of their choice.

A kid is never born to know all these; they may be gifted in some areas, but not all. The only way to create all-rounders would be to put them through programs that teach such skills, or art. Driven by the fear to lose out, parents starts off sending children for tuition, swimming class, violin classes, piano classes, ballet classes, kumon learning methodology and the list goes on from a young age of even 3 years old. Of course, at this age, absorption of content is easy, but at such age, stress is already being introduced into the child.

With societies’ demands on their desired outcome of students, and parents rushing to create their children to meet these demands, children are often left out in many decisions on where, and what they would like to pursue in life. Such choices, deemed important, would be made by parents for the best interests of the child, which is of course, what is marketable in the society.

Resentment rises as these children grow up. Hating the stress and pressure parents put them under, bitter against a society demanding of what they are not. Children would rebel against their parents in spite, and retaliate against society’s norms to create a ‘freedom’ from such repression.

We ask ourselves, why do kids hate their parents? What’s the cause of them rebelling and creating so much trouble outside? Why can’t they simply obey instructions?

Why do we not ask ourselves when was the last time we listened to our children’s cries, rather than just hearing them?

Have we ever wondered why our spouses take sides, family breaks apart, our kids rebel and our lives are messed because we were too concerned about how the children faired, and spent too much time enforcing what we want on them?

One big word that may explain all these problems might actually be ‘EXPECTATIONS’. Marriages fail because 2 people enter a marriage expecting different things; not meeting their expectations they dissolve the marriage.

Parents’ expectations on their children are not met, disappointments arise, and harsh disciplining on the child occurs. But was that the expectation of the child? Did they both have differences in expectations?

Husbands and wives do not see eye to eye as to how a child should be raised. Different expectations from different baggage bore by each parent divide the family. New to creating expectations, the child at a young age, has to grapple with the many opposing influence of passion, filial piety, and societal marketability. Then to realize he/she does not have much of a choice.

Expectations are premeditated disappointments when not handled in love. With too many disappointments in a marriage and family, it would be tough staying on and in the family.

Love is first about accepting someone... not changing someone.


Written by:

Mun Loon, Lai

The writer resides in Singapore and studies in a local tertiary institution.

(Disclaimer: This entry is solely based on the imagination, thoughts and reflection of the writer. It bears no relations, (or) is nor an advertisement campaign by any Agencies, or any Organizations, or any of the affiliates of the Ministries. All rights’ reserved)