I've gained weight recently. In all the extras I've put on, I've learnt a very important underlying principle in life;
'The Truth Hurts.'

There are many issues (and some imporpant people too) that are very close to my heart. Education is one of it. Below is something I wrote when I was asked about Education in Singapore, and how it breaks some families apart.

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Education’s Culture

In the highly competitive society, Singapore’s education system is one that is competitive, demanding and seeks to develop a child holistically, putting one under severe pressure to perform his/her many roles. Often, a student feels a need to conform to how the system judges good or bad, by excelling academically, and where he/she is placed in a Co-Curriculum Activity (CCA), thus the student does not really see his or her talents.

Competitive as society is, schools are further labeled and given rankings based on the performance of students’ academic achievement, CCAs and how much better the students are after going through an education with them. Value-added’ness is the ‘in’ thing of today. And schools strive to the top.

With good results, and strong, proactive achievements in Co-Curriculum Activities, scholarships and opportunities are offered. Therefore, education, to many parents, is the only hope to see their children successful in life.

Creating an all-rounded child has become the top priority for parents today. Children must be able to do many different things, i.e. literacy (read and write), play a musical instrument, dance, drama (performing arts), and play a sport. This way, a child would stand a better chance to enroll into the top school of their choice.

A kid is never born to know all these; they may be gifted in some areas, but not all. The only way to create all-rounders would be to put them through programs that teach such skills, or art. Driven by the fear to lose out, parents starts off sending children for tuition, swimming class, violin classes, piano classes, ballet classes, kumon learning methodology and the list goes on from a young age of even 3 years old. Of course, at this age, absorption of content is easy, but at such age, stress is already being introduced into the child.

With societies’ demands on their desired outcome of students, and parents rushing to create their children to meet these demands, children are often left out in many decisions on where, and what they would like to pursue in life. Such choices, deemed important, would be made by parents for the best interests of the child, which is of course, what is marketable in the society.

Resentment rises as these children grow up. Hating the stress and pressure parents put them under, bitter against a society demanding of what they are not. Children would rebel against their parents in spite, and retaliate against society’s norms to create a ‘freedom’ from such repression.

We ask ourselves, why do kids hate their parents? What’s the cause of them rebelling and creating so much trouble outside? Why can’t they simply obey instructions?

Why do we not ask ourselves when was the last time we listened to our children’s cries, rather than just hearing them?

Have we ever wondered why our spouses take sides, family breaks apart, our kids rebel and our lives are messed because we were too concerned about how the children faired, and spent too much time enforcing what we want on them?

One big word that may explain all these problems might actually be ‘EXPECTATIONS’. Marriages fail because 2 people enter a marriage expecting different things; not meeting their expectations they dissolve the marriage.

Parents’ expectations on their children are not met, disappointments arise, and harsh disciplining on the child occurs. But was that the expectation of the child? Did they both have differences in expectations?

Husbands and wives do not see eye to eye as to how a child should be raised. Different expectations from different baggage bore by each parent divide the family. New to creating expectations, the child at a young age, has to grapple with the many opposing influence of passion, filial piety, and societal marketability. Then to realize he/she does not have much of a choice.

Expectations are premeditated disappointments when not handled in love. With too many disappointments in a marriage and family, it would be tough staying on and in the family.

Love is first about accepting someone... not changing someone.


Written by:

Mun Loon, Lai

The writer resides in Singapore and studies in a local tertiary institution.

(Disclaimer: This entry is solely based on the imagination, thoughts and reflection of the writer. It bears no relations, (or) is nor an advertisement campaign by any Agencies, or any Organizations, or any of the affiliates of the Ministries. All rights’ reserved)

1st week of school

I never expected my first week of school to be this tiring. After a 3 month holiday, into the final week(s), I had almost lost sense of time. I couldn't tell between the different days until the day before it. The weekday didn't seem different from the weekend. It was all as lively.

It was an eventful week, with so many things happening all in one week,

- The opening of semester, a new chapter;
- The separation of the adult twins co-joined at the head, a new hope;
- The passing of the twins, a new light;
- The embrace of the loss, a new love.

There was so much to write as I lived the week, the only problem was that by the time I wanted to pen, my brains didn't function as they were suppose to. I was too tired to crystallize my thoughts, and pen them down.

I did write something during the week, actually on Sunday, in serious considerations on whether I should publish it here. Its about the Education System here. Somehow felt that what I wrote might not be too good for the audience's health (mental and emotional). I'd seek the advice of professionals within the industry before I publish ok?

Its wierd that education has become a sensitive issue in my community. Ironically, educating is about learning, and it is encouraged that we are 'life-long learners'. In other words, it sounds to me that we'd be 'life-long sufferers', walking on eggshells when we mention the sacred word, Education.

I love studying, the quest to learning new things, and exploring beyond my horizons are the best things that I can do, and wish to do it for life. The only thing that kills my love, is the way everyone else looks at it.

Funnily, I don't live my life the way you look at it, but it somehow matters. I think, its because, you matter.

This is my everyday...

Hussle, tassle, rush and flutter,
Oh my gosh, I'm so puzzled
I rush from here
And then to there
To squeeze, to squash, to push, to shove
Oh yes, only just to move...
Datelines, projects, work and deadlines...
I make the grade,
Or I lose my head.
Scuffle, muffle, toss and tumble,
Sneeze and snore I lay in slumber
Only to prepare for the same 'morrow
Yes, this is my everyday

Dear Blog (my silent listener),

I'm depressed. I feel such a sense of void. A null feeling whereby I seem to have lost myself in my thoughts, actions. Things I did, and things I didn't do.

I'm Mun Loon. I'm slow at alot of things. I don't know..but one thing for sure is that I'm learning to be slow to speak, especially at sensitive and serious stuff. Reason's to ensure I am sure I do not say things I do not mean. I'm a firm believer in causal and effectual phenomenons. Nothing really happens by coincidence (I am not eliminating coincidence as an element that brings surprises to us).

So, I get misunderstood because I am too slow. I miss the crucial moments cause I somehow am too slow. And of course, huge and undesirable misunderstandings happen.

And the words exchanged becomes lethal, deadly and very hurting. I get hurt too you know? I try my best to keep my mind and heart in tact, so that I do not hurt accidentally too. When my shield is continuously struck, time and again by curt remarks, and painful words, the heart would eventually have to take the shots. I think I might have a big heart. More surface area to hit.. its a sure hit, even if you can't aim.

Behind every face lies a story; every heart lies has its sadness. A smile or that loving tenderness.

Isn't it amazing that I can feel this way too? Well, perhaps, its simply a good reminder that, I'm human too.

Love with tears,
Mun

I've learnt not to argue anymore, I simply present facts.

Community Services Management

Everytime someone asks me what do I major in, I answer with a slight hesitation, 'Community Services Management'. Well, other than it being a mouthful to pronounce, like a tongue twister; I get alot of questions following it.

My usual questions would be like (my answers never came out this way..):

- "So, what do you do?" .. Study, of course!
- "Orh..volunteer work huh?"..You wanna feed my kids next time? I'd go 100% volunteer based and driven!
- "You mean, there's such a course?".. Do I sound like I am pulling a fast one on you?

Enough of the Evil me talking. There is really such a major. It is a social services course whereby I get to work with different people with different needs. Community Services, these 2 words sums it all.

The next part of the conversation would be about all the meaningful the things I do, or how they wished they could be involved in it. They would tell me how kind-hearted I am with it. How much they feel I am couragous about how things are going, the compassion and the list goes on.

Community Service is way beyond the things we do for these disadvantaged folks. Its beyond the things we give them, or the number times we went to visit them, or to clean their houses, change their sheets or even buying them something they need. We've been far too engross with the hardware of life we seem to have forgotten that these gestures of meeting-needs isn't just meeting-needs. Its far more and significant than that.

I would never want to forget that through all these meeting of needs, we have the duty to relate, reinstate and re-enforce the basic fact that we're doing all these in love, not recognition, or a National Day Award. It is not about what we can bring, but what we come with.

Undeniably, passion is important to us in this service sector, rationale is equally important. Love can't make you full, food can. But I seek to give what makes you happiest, in the long run, as a long-term investment.

It is not about the doing, its about the being.